It is unbelievable, incredible, and amazing!
My latest article on Lifehack.org- 20 Things To Remember If You Love Someone Who Has ADD- went viral!! It continues to fly through the internet at the speed of light. I still cannot believe that over 1 million people shared what I wrote. The number is even higher counting the people who have read it and not shared it, but those numbers are not in yet.
I have received an outpouring of love, support, and gratitude from all over the world. Mothers have poured their hearts out telling me that because of my article they see their children in a different light. Husbands and wives have told me that they had no idea why their partner can’t remember to pay the bills, pick up the dry cleaning, and pay attention to a conversation, but now they understand. And so many people have thanked me for allowing them the freedom to be themselves.
I used Adam Levine’s picture because he is the new spokesperson for “Own Your ADHD.” I chose it because I liked that phrase (and of course; ย Adam is … well, he’s Adam). ย That’s why I wrote that article. I want people to own their ADHD. I wanted their loved ones to feel compassion, love, and appreciation in place of anger, impatience, annoyance, judgment, and criticsm.
Yes, we are hard to deal with, but that’s only because people don’t understand what’s going on inside of us.
There are many fabulous advantages to having ADHD. The founder of JetBlue and two other airlines- David Neeleman says, if he had a chance to give up his ADHD and be without it, he never would. ย Now, that’s what I call owning it! And he also proudly says, that he has a hard time managing the mundane things in life. “I have an easier time planning a 20-aircraft fleet than I do paying the light bill.”
His personal life is another story. He says, ย “My wife can’t always figure out what the heck I’m thinking, and my kids want me to focus on just one thing with them. I find it difficult.” And that’s why I wrote my article. I wanted all the wives, kids, husbands, mothers, fathers, and boyfriends and girlfriends to understand why we can’t pay the light bill and do the “mundane things.”
Deal with the mundane? Forget it! Our minds are busy with the bigger things in life. We see colors, movements, shapes floating through the air that others cannot see. We feel the dancing rhythms beating inside our chests that others cannot feel. We hear sounds that others cannot hear. While other people live on land, we live swimming around the bottom of ย the ocean flowing with the waves, grooving on the colors, and discovering the beauty of life. We see beyond the surface. We see what others cannot see.
That’s why we are the creators. Who else would give us music that moves your soul to tears? ย Who else would come up with inventions that change peoples’ lives? Who else would envision the impossible? No one! That’s our job.
We live on another level. While others go about their business picking up the dry cleaning and paying bills, we are composing the symphonies for them (Mozart-ADHD). We put art in their museums (Dali, Picasso, VanGogh-ADHD). We write classic stories and poetry that has been taught in every high school for decades (Dickenson, Emerson, Woolf, Yeats Frost-all ADHD). We are part of the group that makes people laugh (Jim Carrey, Robin Williams-ADHD). We can entertain them (Spielberg, Stallone, Hitchcock, Disney, Nicholson-ADHD). The geniuses who create formulas and inventions that change the planet (Einstein, Bell, Edison, and Franklin-yes, ADHD) have the same thought patterns as we do.
I am proud and honored to be in such a gifted group. I agree with David Neeleman, if I could give up my ADHD to make my life easier, I wouldn’t give it up either! I love my ADHD.
I am part of an elite group that brings beauty, sound, color, movement, words, rthym, and the unthinkable into this world. I am in the group that makes the world a better place.
We were born blessed with a special gift. Own it, baby! Love it, live it, enjoy it.
Just find someone else to pay the bills and pick up the dry cleaning.
June,
I am moved beyond words, you have written are the words to my heart and make me want to dance. I am so grateful that you have showed up in my life and are letting me see the sun through the clouds that shroud my days with insecurities, self doubt, that I will never fit in, but my soul is glad to realize it is not about fitting in and that I am one of those that will offer beauty in this life!
Shelley
Shelley,
Wow! You express yourself beautifully! This makes me cry tears of joy. It’s the most amazing feeling to know that I am helping people to feel good
about something most of us have felt bad about our whole lives. You should probably be writing poetry. Please save this one in a journal. It’s gorgeous.
You have added beauty to my day and touched my soul.
With gratitude,
June
ps… did you subscribe to my site so that we can stay in touch? I want to stay connected with you.
Hello,
I am studying to be a school psychologist and definitely feel I have ADHD. I found your one size fits all approach to explaining adhd offensive. Honestly, you do not have the background to be speaking about this topic in such an empirical way. Simply because you have ADHD, or you have known a few people with this disorder does not mean you KNOW about it. I think you should stick to relationships, self-esteem advice, etc., and leave neuropsychological disorder like ADHD to the professionals.
Hi!
I am sorry to hear that you feel that way. However, there has been an outpouring of gratitude, appreciation, and support from my article.
I have been deeply touched by the people that have benefitted from it. People from all over the world are writing to me to express their appreciation
for understanding how they feel. I write from a personal perspective, not a medical one.
I am sorry it didn’t resonate with you. Thank you for writing!
All the best,
June
Dear June,
I am a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner who not only treats many kids with ADHD, but I also have a husband with ADHD and a daughter with ADHD. In all my years of working, I have never been able to explain to parents what ADHD is like the way you described it. I would be so honored if you would let me print out your article and use it in my practice- to give to parents of ADHD children to help them better understand and support their children. Thank you for sharing. I am awe struck at the way in which you conveyed what it’s like to have ADHD. Again, thank you so much for writing “20 things to remember if you love a person with ADD” and “Own your ADHD baby.” Marvelous, truly marvelous. Sincerely,
Naomi Klein, N.P.
Dear Naomi,
You have no idea how much this means to me. I am honored that you would like to use my article in your practice.
Please feel free to print it and share it with anyone who can benefit from it. That was my goal- to tell the people who love someone with ADHD
exactly what goes on in our minds. We want to pay our bills, pick up the dry cleaning, and be neat. Kids want to do their homework, and not
feel “different.” Unfortunately, our behaviors look the same as laziness, apathy, and irresponsibility. It’s an extremely frustrating situation for
families.
I have received so many letters of gratitude, appreciation, and support from this article. It truly fills my heart with joy.
Thank you for taking the time to write and becoming a part of this amazing experience.
Have you subscribed to my website so that we can stay connected? Please keep in touch. I’d love to hear more about your work.
All the best,
June
Hello June and thank you so much for your quick reply! I have just subscribed to your website. I have also already sent a link to your “20 Things to Remember If You Love a Person with ADD” to my daughter’s teacher (my 7 year old daughter has ADHD) this morning–and her teacher said the article is fantastic and that she was going to share it with the school counselor. Both my parents thought it was wonderful as well.
Interestingly enough, my morning was exactly as you describe. My 7 yo daughter who has ADHD was getting ready for school. I told her to go downstairs and start brushing her hair and I would be down in a minute. I went to help my 4 year old get ready and when I came out 5 minutes later, she was sitting on the stairs staring into space. I asked her what she was doing and she smiled, shook her head, and said, “Oh, ah, what? Oh, I’m thinking about what it would be like if the house were turned completely upside down and I was walking on the ceiling.” I just had to burst out laughing. Everyday is like that with her when she is off her medication.
Have you ever read the books by Laura Numeroff (If you give a pig a pancake, If you give a moose a muffin, etc.)? They describe toddler behavior to a T, but they also describe what it’s like to have ADHD- constantly moving from one thing to the next, getting distracted by every new little thing, sometimes eventually circling back to where you startedโฆ.but not always.
My 7 yo is very intuitive with her emotions and her body. She is able to really describe what is going on in her brain. I thought it was fascinating when last year, she began to have a lot of trouble in school following directions and was getting “lost”- and she came to me and told me what was going on. She said, “You know how my nose is little? And my mouth is little, and my ears are little? Well I hear the information coming from my teacher- and it starts to go in through my little ears and is slowly traveling through them, winding around- until it then gets all the way up to my brain which is a huge space- and then all the information from my teacher gets lost up there and starts to swirl around and I don’t know what to do next.”
I have so many young kids and teens who are so down on themselves and think they are stupid- or that there’s something wrong with them. I think your article on “Own your ADHD baby” will be a tremendous help to them. Again, thanks for sharing, and I would love to stay in touch with you! ๐
Naomi Klein, N.P.
June
I must say, with a few of the 20 items are not my experience, you pretty much nailed it. Allowing for the wonderful quirkiness that is our individual variability, rare that I see it captured so spot on. I passed it along to my wife as a gentle reminder to both of us. Well done. Thanks.
Hi Tom!
I like that.. we have a wonderful quirkiness! I might have to share that line.
True, husbands and wives need to be reminded of this often. We are so often misunderstood. I should make this into a poster so
that we can put it on our walls and read it every day.
Thanks for taking the time to write! Your comment means a lot to me. I write for you so I love to hear from you!
Please keep in touch. Did you subscribe to my website so that I send you my posts?
Thanks Tom!
Hi June!
I came across your website through the article you speak of. I have never ever heard the traits of ADD the way that you shared them. I have always felt different, out of place. like my brain thought and worked harder than most others around me. It makes for great work perrformance but not so great for interpersonal relationships. I read the “piles” organization to my coworkers who all began to laugh. I constantly have piles everywhere but they are “organized” to me! Although no one complains since I have the out-of-the-box thinking that helps me succeed at my position. Thank you for writing something that helps me to understand myself. I am bringing this home for my husband who is our bill payer since he found that even though i can hold a full time job i can NOT pay my bills!!! maybe he will understand a little more by reading this.
Thank you again. I have subscribed and look forward to seeing this understanding grow even more.
regards,
ashley
Hi Ashley!
I’m so happy you connected with my article.
Our differences and our out-of-the-box thinking are our best qualities. They make us unique. We see and think about things others can’t see.
That what makes us so awesome! It’s all about learning how to use those strengths (and marrying someone who pays the bills)!
My piles look like a mess might look like a mess to someone else, but I also know exactly what is in each pile and can access it when I need it.
It feels so great to be understood and to share our stories (that others don’t understand). Hopefully, you husband will understand you better now.
Thanks for subscribing so that we can stay in touch. Keep the comments and stories coming. I love to hear them.
There’s also been a lot of great discussion on Facebook too. If you want to friend me.
Best,
June
June, I am so happy I was shown your wriying
Thank you Alischa! I’m so happy you enjoy my writing!
I would never give up my ADD. While it can be a pain in the butt sometimes, I’ve always loved having the creativity and ability to think outside the box.
I was reading an old journal of mine from when I was eight. There was a question (it was the American Girl Feelings Journal) that asked, “What do you love about yourself the most?” My response: “The way I think.” This was years before I was diagnosed with ADD. And it was just the reminder I needed when I was having one of “those” weeks–excuse me–/months/.
I just thought it was funny that while for the most part I had assumed that everyone else’s brains worked somewhat the same way, there were times when exchanging thoughts that I started to realize that I was different.
Just as you listed those heroes above (Einstein is my man, btw. I want to be a theoretical physicist. Get paid to ponder about how the universe works? Heck yeah! [It’s more than that, I know… ๐ ]).
Sorry, as I was saying, just as you listed those heroes above, my friend (Anna T.) who also has ADD once said to me: “God gave the struggles with ADD because if He hadn’t–we’d take over the world.” B)
Chloe!
I love this! I’m not giving mine up either. We are the creators, the genuises, the artists, musicians, and on and on. The world needs us.
It reminds me of my favorite quote by Steve Jobs, “The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
Sounds like you’re on that list, Chloe!
Thank-you for your article, I’m 41 one years old and have never been diagnosed with ADD, but these things describe me perfectly. This has been very enlightening to me. I am very curious about some methods besides medication to manage the negative things that come along with being ADD. I would love to hear about some resources to help me with this. Thank-you again for your article, I think you may have been inspired:)
Hi Amy,
I am so glad you enjoyed my article and found it helpful. Treating ADHD is a lifestyle choice.
My favorite resources online are additudemag.com and CHADD.org. Even though there are a lot of articles for children with ADD/ADHD, there are also many great articles and webinars, and helpful tips for adults with ADD/ADHD. I also recommend anything written by Dr. Ned Hallowell. Youtube also has some great resources when you search for ADHD.
Thanks for your comment!
June
Thank you for your articles on ADHD! I am so happy to have come across the one that went viral, it has helped me have a greater understanding of myself and my teenage son. Neither of us have been diagnosed with ADD or ADHD, but the way you describe us in the “20 things to remember…” article is so spot on – it gave us both a new and healthier way to see and accept each others’ quirky – and often frustrating – traits.
I agree, I wouldn’t want to give up the amazing aspects that come with having brains that function this way, it certainly can be exhausting when our minds can’t settle down and massively problematic when we can’t get even the most mundane tasks completed.
I’m relieved to have this new perspective which you’ve articulated so well for this of us who have ADHD and for those who love us.
I imagine it will be enormously helpful for parents, teachers, friends, and even PhD’s who want to have more fruitful conversations about the condition with their patients and caregivers… Thank you again!
I’m subscribing.
Gabrielle,
Thank you so much! I’m so happy to know that my articles are helpful. ADHD is weird because it can be self-diagnosed and then at times,
medical attention is required. I always say, if you have it- you know it! We know what goes on inside our heads; quirky, creative, artisitic, and sometimes exhausting and overwhelming.
My article going viral was an enlightenment for me. I had no idea there were so many people (over 1.8M shares!) that could relate to ADD/ADHD.
It inspired me to continue telling my stories, continue writing, researching, and connecting with my readers. I’m still flying high from the overwhelming response of love, support, and gratitude from the article.
Thanks for being a part of it and for subscribing! Please keep in touch!
By the way, if you check out my website, you’ll see, as an artist my interests and forms of creative expression are wildly diverse – and extends into other disciplines as well, including music, dance, film, and writing…and it is absolutely impossible for me to narrow it down, or commit to just one form for any extended period of time.
Now it makes a little more sense!
I’m hoping now to find discussion groups / articles that talk about ways of managing / making the best of being blessed /cursed with such an active creative mind… ๐
That’s a great idea! Other artists, creators, and people interesting in managing their ADHD have contacted me.
Let’s do it! Did you friend me on Facebook? We can start with a conference call after the holidays. Are you interested?
June –
I also, thank you immensely for your article. I sent it to a couple of people who know my granddaughter (whom I am raising) so they can understand a little more. One person sent me back an email telling me that it was just making excuses for her behavior and that some people learn to control their children,etc. It was very hateful.
So to access the above comments and read other people’s experiences and gratitude makes me feel that I’m not alone dealing with this odd behavior.
The “organized” piles thing, though, is not true with my granddaughter. She has no idea where anything is and we constantly have to hunt through all the piles to find things. Its very tiring and shall we say exhausting to raise an ADHD child.
I can add to the frustrations I experience by saying that anyone who is not around us frequently thinks that I don’t teach her manners or about how to clean or learn to cook. It takes hundreds and hundreds of corrections on manners and even when she finally remembers to do one it is intermittent. Teaching her to cook is a nightmare because the flour gets spilled all over the floor(not just once),the eggs get broken onto the counter or floor, the ingredients get grabbed and thrown in so fast (incorrectly)that you don’t have time to stop her.
After making macaroni and cheese (Kraft) from the box with her at least 20 times she wanted to do it on her own. It was ruined because she added the butter, milk and sauce mix to the boiling water and then drained it with the noodles. It’s exhausting!
Unless they live with a person with this, they cannot possibly know what we deal with on a daily basis.
Thank you again for that wonderful insight!!
Jean,
Thanks so much for writing! I love to hear from my readers. First of all, let me say I am in awe of all the grandparents raising their grandchildren. You are amazing, strong, and the finest example of unconditional love and pure giving. Parenting is hard at any age, but as a grandparent it is certainly more challenging.
It’s very upsetting to hear from people who don’t understand ADHD. It’s frustrating, inconsiderate, and hurtful. It’s best to stay away from even trying to explain it. I’ve been shocked when I’ve told physicians about my ADHD and they don’t believe it is real. I wrote about it in an older blog, “Don’t Say You Have ADHD.”
It’s especially frustrating if you don’t have ADHD and are caring for and love someone who does. It’s hard for the people who have it and the people who live with them. But there are ways to learn how to co-exist more peacefully.
It’s wonderful that you are teaching her to cook, but it is also a complete mess and emotionally draining. I find the best way to manage the mess (in any area of life) is to prepare for it. With ADHD you know the mess is coming, so prepare in advance. For example: Clothes need to be laid out at night, backpacks by the door, and all the accessories that are necessary for leaving the house on time. Back to cooking, if you have space, set up an area for her to make be messy in. Lay down a plastic tablecloth so you can scoop up the mess easily. Give her one ingredient at a time. Remember she gets overwhelmed easily and is also excited to get it all in the dish. Since you sound organized, she is lucky and so are you. Think in systems. Create a system for everything. But make sure it’s something that resonanates with her ADHD style (there are many different ones). Be creative! Once you find the right way to deal with your specific ADHD, you’ll be in sync and have fun together!!
You’re so right… unless you have it or live with someone who does, you have no idea what we deal with every day! That’s why it’s important to have a community of people who understand what you’re going through. You are not alone!
You’re amazing! And your granddaughter is very lucky to have you!
~ June