Yes, it’s true. My Lifehack.org article, “20 Things To Remember If You Love Someone Who Has ADD, is about me. I’ve never been medically diagnosed. I just know I think “differently,” and always have. I’ve never been on medication for it. I’ve just learned how to live with it, love it, and enjoy the perks that come with it. And there are many!
If you haven’t read the comments on the article, you might want to. Be careful, it’s easy to get sucked into the discussion. (Scroll down to the bottom of the article.)
You would not believe the emails I receive every day. Each one with a personal story; expressing gratitude and appreciation for my article.
My heart is deeply touched by readers telling me, “Thank you for understanding me. Finally, someone knows what goes on in my head. You get me!” Sure, there are negative comments too,(wow, it’s surprising to see how rude some people can be!) but that’s ok. My feelings aren’t hurt. I understand that they just don’t get what I was saying, or maybe I hit a nerve that triggered a painful zone in their lives.
Note: My commenters have also informed me that it is no longer called ADD. It is now medically known as ADHD. I guess if we have it, we are hyper with an H.
Ironically, I wrote the article for people who love someone who has ADD. The response I’ve received is greater from those who have ADD/ADHD, than from their loved ones.
Since my article has gone viral, I realized that there is no much more to say about ADHD. People want to talk about it, not from a medical point of view, from a personal one. There’s a lot to be said about this “thing” that lives inside us. Sometimes we love it and sometimes it makes our lives more difficult. We can be frustrating to others, and we also have a lot of internal frustration to deal with. It doesn’t go away, we just have to constantly manage it. The more we talk about it, the better it is.
I recently discovered another point that I’d like to add to my article:
PEOPLE WITH ADD/ADHD HAVE ASSOCIATIVE BRAIN PATTERNS
Our minds work in a “connect-the-dots” mode. One thought leads to another, then another, and so on and so on. There’s a thread that links everything related to our original thought. I think the medical professionals call that “distraction.” I call it awesome! I like the way my thought patterns work.
CUTTING AND PASTING IN MY BRAIN- a personal story
I was cutting and pasting the URL of my article to email to someone. While I was waiting for my computer to copy the link (and getting annoyed that my computer is so slow) my mind began to wander. When I cut and paste links, I immediately think of my son. He taught me how to use them. Then I thought of something I needed to discuss with my son. Then I thought, Oh no, I forgot to talk to him about that. We have a deadline on it. Then I thought, maybe I should text him now. No, he’s probably busy at work. Hmmm, when should I call him? Maybe I should meet him at Starbucks later? Maybe we can meet for dinner? Dinner? I forgot to go to the grocery store. I have to make dinner for my husband. So I just wrote another post-it and added it to the blue pile of post-its on my desk (I should use different colors, so they don’t blend together). Then I looked at the link and thought, “Who was I emailing this link to?”
That’s the short version. I don’t know how long it lasted in real time. It felt like a long time. Does that ever happen to you too?
Please keep sharing your comments and stories. You have no idea how much they mean to me. They inspire me to share mine.
Don’t forget to subscribe to my website so we can stay connected. Facebook is fabulous, but you might miss some of my posts.
If you want your comments to remain anonymous just send me an email … email@example.com
? when you say ADD means what brain or slow person? me was born with ADD and other problem like bad typing or only game like online or other non life thing calm me but when PC slow to stop for about 4sec. to 30 sec. or freeze up in blue screen that get me mad almost want to throw the pc to grown then hope after it still works.. get the point I know I have it since birth but work hard at it is tuff when tell others that get a job and say I have ADD get no job but same for others .. so what avenue to get test and the right help to get a job and get help with date a single woman Now that harder for me.. So If your real person that kind and help people open to ADD that me would you help me..Or this a joke to say ha ha and not real Please reply to my e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org David 39yrs single man white 6 ft an 200lbs lonely person 🙁
There is help.
My favorite resources are additudemag.com and CHADD.org. You can go to those websites. There are many articles that are very helpful.
Those websites have recommendations for counselors who specialize in ADD.
I also recommend anything written by Dr. Ned Hallowell. Youtube also has some great resources when you search for ADHD.
If you work with a counselor or psychologist, it is better to find someone in your neighborhood that can help you.
There are many people that feel the same way that you do. Don’t give up. Help is available at those websites.
All the best,
As I have stated before, I am so glad to have you show up with that one article, it was the light that there is hope for me/ my daughter, We are ok just the way we are, but it is so hurtful to hear how rejecting, less understanding others are to us that our brain patterns think differently. I know I am a very passionate person about life, I see the light patterns differently, there is great beauty in the things that surround us, not everything is black/white, the particles that float around us give so much detail. Also my brain is racing down the highway to life and there is no stopping it. SO yea there is a lot of dream catchers in my brain.
It’s amazing how many people related to my article- 1.7M!
Obviously, there are many of us who were hiding it because of the reasons you stated: hurt, rejection, misunderstanding, criticism, etc. We see “great beauty” that others don’t see; colors, detail, flying through our minds at hyper-speed. It’s awesome when we learn to love it, own it, and enjoy it! Thanks for keeping in touch! I love hearing from you. 🙂
Everything in your article, “20 Things To Remember If You Love Someone Who Has ADD”, absolutely spoke to me. As many others have stated before me, it was a perfect description of everything going on in my mind. It’s great to be able to connect to others on the same wavelength!
I like the piece that you added about connecting the dots. That is something I experience as well and have been lucky enough to turn it into a career path. I am a business analyst working on solving problems and creating more efficient processes with software. Connecting the dots and being able to quickly analyze different paths of action to determine efficient solutions and eliminate ones that will not work is vital for my job. It makes it easy for me to see that if you change one thing what the implications are down the path and I can usually analyze multiple options at the same time. This has made me very successful in my career.
I don’t mention any of this to brag but to give hope to others. We can harness our special powers that we gain from ADHD to open up opportunities in life. Of course, we have our quirks (my desk is COVERED in paper piles!) but so does everyone. I’ve had my share of people along the way that didn’t understand my methods but I’ve learned not to let them get me down and to keep moving. We can do amazing things even while chasing that squirrel.
I’ve rambled on enough, keep up the good work.
Thanks for writing! You’re so right about connecting the dots. Just like all of ADHD, each trait has a postive side to it that helps us excel. You are so fortunate that you have benefitted in your career because of it. We are capable of great things!
You are definitely not bragging. It’s all about sharing positive stories of how ADHD is a good thing! I love hearing your personal stories.
I love hearing from my readers! I write for you. Your stories inspire me to share mine.
Keep in touch!
Thank you so much for such important information and for sharing your experience with us. I have come to know about ADHD just a month ago when I was trying to find a remedy for my slow reading and everlasting procrastination. This never-ending whirl of overwhelming thoughts is driving me crazy till I got to know about ADHD. However, till this very moment I have not been diagnosed because I do not know where to go and if there is something I can do online to make sure if I have it or not. Thanks once again
Thank you for writing. There is a lot of great information online. The best site is ADDituteMag.com. If you feel that you are having trouble functioning, then you should probably see a therapist. There is a lot of help out there.
Let me know how it goes. Good luck!
Hi June –
I loved your cutting and pasting story – the exact same thing happens to me several times a day!
Thanks for sharing!
Lol! It’s nice to know I’m not the only one. 🙂
This is my second post. I think my inability to send a proper post and receive a reply can be taken as a sign for my ADD. I really need to know how to make sure whether I do have ADD or not. Most symptoms that deal with attention and distraction apply to me, however, I may not be as hyperactive.
Sorry I didn’t answer the first one sooner. Check out ADDitiudeMag.com or Dr. Ned Hallowell’s books.
Let me know if you have any more questions!
I absolutely loved your article! My husband has ADD and it can be very challenging at times coping with the disorganization and chaos that come with ADD. Your article helped me better understand his daily life and the challenges he faces with every thought/choice/decision. I gave the article to my husband and he was amazed and relieved that you could pinpoint how he feels so perfectly…he was relieved because he was never able to fully explain or express how his brain worked and now he felt like I finally understood him.
Thank you for this. It has truly helped our family!!
Wow! That was exactly why I wrote it. I wanted to explain to our loved ones what it feels like so that they would not think we are lazy, forgetful, and irresponsible (even though that’s exactly how we seem). We are challenging to live with. It’s true, is affects every thought/choice/decision we make. I am honored that what I wrote what a difference in your family.
Thank you so much for taking the time to write! I have more articles coming on the challenges of living with ADD.
Please keep in touch.
I love that you “admitted” to your ADHD – and you’re spot on about the challenges. But we ARE a pretty lovable bunch! I coach women 40-and-better with ADHD at the ADDiva Network and LOVE spending time with other ADHD women. We ROCK! Thanks for bringing this forward and LOVE the 20 Don’ts when living with an ADHD spouse. Thank goodness mine is extremely generous and loves me because of my many quirks!
I totally agree. We are a quirky, lovable bunch. I’m thrilled that my articles resonated with so many people.
Thanks for taking the time to let me know. 🙂